Being a parent is hard. We have said this time and time again. However, just because it is hard, you do not have the right to be an epic failure at it. There are so many stupid parents out there that we may never be able to cover all their stupidity. Some of the stupidest parents are celebrities. They are clearly so self involved that they have no idea that the child they are bringing into the world has feelings, too. Hey celebrity moron, they do, and they would like a damn normal name. They may someday want a job and would like to be taken seriously. These names will never be taking seriously, in fact, when we heard them we said WTF?
Frank Zappa is one of the first to pick out awful names. He is clearly a moron or took way more drugs than any of us realize. Dear Mr. Zappa, Diva Thin Muffin, Dwezzil and Moon Unit are simply not names. We find it incredibly sad that with a name like Dwezzil, he has the most normal name in the family. Wow! Rob Morrow, you are an absolute idiot. Did you seriously think the name Tu was a good idea? Tu Morrow?? Yep, that will get her taken seriously. Buddy Bear? Jamie Oliver, we think you should just stick to cooking. Hey Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, we like a good Disney movie as much as the rest but we would never consider naming our baby after a character as you did with your son Bronx Mowgli. Next we have a poor child who was given such an awful name, Free, that he changed it to Timothy. David Carridine and Barbara Hershey, epic fail on that name.
Hello Nicolas Cage, do you have any brain at all?? Kal-El?? We get that you like Superman, we really do, but being your child must be hard, just look at that freak Weston. He has a somewhat normal name and he is a hot mess. Poor Kal-El doesn’t even have a fighting change. Zuma Nesta Rock is not a name! Do you hear us, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale?? Do not be shocked if he changes this one. Jason Lee, we don’t even know what to say to you. Pilot Inspektor, what does this name even mean? We don’t get it. What the hell is a Moxie Crimefighter?? It’s a poor little girl, that’s what. She is the daughter of Penn Jillette. Very sad. Now on to Shannyn Sossamon’s child, Audio Science. Dear Ms. Sossamon, just because you are barely a celebrity does not mean you need to give your kid the weirdest name ever.
Erykah Badu and Jay Electronica, we are not sure what Mars Merkaba means? We are sure of one thing, though, it is a weird ass name. That is if indeed it is a name, we are not even sure it is. Banjo is a musical instrument, Rachel Griffiths and Andrew Taylor, not a name. Poor baby. Can you imagine introducing yourself as Speck Wildhorse? We certainly cannot but John Cougar Mellencamp and Elaine Irwin can. Jonathan Davis and Deven, we barely know who you are and we want to assure you that Pirate is not a good name. It is an awful, weird name. Rebel, Racer, Rogue and Rocket? Wtf was Robert Rodriguez thinking?? We have no idea but he is off his damn rocker.
We don’t think naming a child is that hard but clearly we are wrong. If it was easy, none of these names would exist. Hey celebrities, they have these little books called baby name books, you should have picked one up. They aren’t expensive, we are guessing you can afford one. We hope our insight has helped you. If you ever have another baby, please, please think twice about what you are naming them. If people will be compelled to say WTF, it is not a name.
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