Everyday Lisa and Jen attempt to come up with funny, witty, and stupid things to make you all laugh. Sometimes we tease and sometimes we just tell funny stories that actually take place in our own ridiculous lives. We realize some of this is over the top, but we assure you - our lives really can be that stupid and we really know these idiots. We know a drunken whore from high school, we know someone who locks her keys in her car 15 times a year (maybe more), we know the guy who showed up with a borrowed sports car to the high school reunion. The point is, we do not make this shit up - we really know a lot of dumb ass people.
Which brings us to today's post about drunk family. One of us (not telling which one) has a lot of drinkers in the family. These people can be rather entertaining and can be rather embarrassing. But at the end of the day we love them and they give us a lot to talk about.
For instance when one of these individuals has had a little too much wine she makes calls and sends emails about how great the people in her life are and how much she loves them. This is often funny because when she is sober...she really doesn't like some of these people, she is a drunk liar. Or even better is when she gains access to Facebook after a few too many glasses of wine. She send messages to all her kids, yet doesn't realize that her kids are all friends (obviously) and they can see what she tells each individual child. So we see that she has told all her daughters the same things or that a specific daughter is her favorite.
Another one of these fun family members is a bit older and when he drinks too much he becomes a child. We are talking about a 5 year old child. He hits people at the dinner table, he knocks off peoples hats, he makes crazy comments in silly voices...he literally turns into a small child right in front of your eyes. Of course he is loud and obnoxious when this happens, but it is very entertaining and he is by far the families favorite person...drunk or sober.
Next up we have the family member who cannot hold the liquor. She is so busy enjoying her time away from her real life that she forgets she has not had a drink in 5 months and becomes so intoxicated that she ends up dancing on a bar and than puking all over an expensive hotel room. She has also been known to pass out in a driveway and have to be carried into the house. This might not seem funny to some of you because alcoholism is dangerous and an addiction, but we assure you all of these individuals are protected and safe. In fact, keeping them safe from themselves and their stupidity can often be a full time job.
At this point you are probably trying to figure out if this is Lisa's family or Jen's..since we have both admitted we drink too much and enjoy vodka just a little more than the normal person. But like usual, we are not telling. We here at Simple Stupidity do not name names. We keep your dirty little secrets...well we do share them with the world on the Internet, but we will never tell people your name - no worries. We love you all!
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