We LOVE people watching. The pure enjoyment of sitting out on a sunny day watching stupid people, wearing stupid clothes, while doing stupid things has really bonded us. Plus it's free. Some things we have learned while people watching are that while people appear blind, chances are good they are not and they truly think plaid and paisley patterns match. These same people think that a speedo looks good. Unless you're in the Olympics, then no, your speedo doesn't look good. Let's be honest, it looks bad in the Olympics as well, but at least has a purpose. The foreigners seem to really feel strongly about wearing speedos. Please, no banana hammocks!
Most girls who wear bikinis clearly have no idea they are too fat for bikinis. As we previously mentioned...if you have a muffin top...do the world a favor and get a one-piece. This goes double for thong bikinis, about 12 women in the world can wear one without it looking ridiculous and if you read this blog, we assure, you are not one of them.
Next up for beach wear is the fat white guy vacationing from the north wearing no shirt, showing off his pasty white skin. Please sir, we beg you...put a shirt on - you are blinding us!
The next category of fun is seeing people in poorly fitting clothes. What is their story? Several options on this:
Massive weight loss or weight gain
They are too cheap to buy clothes that fit
They are all hand me downs.
This group always keeps us guessing. But we sure do get a kick out of laughing at them while we are guessing.
Couple pieces of advice for all you idiots out there who do not know how to dress. Fanny packs are not cool, no matter what color they are...they are NOT cool!
NOTHING with NASCAR on it looks good. These races produce rednecks wearing cutoffs and wife beaters with knee high socks. This look does not work for you...no matter how hot you think your mullet looks.
Young or old...sandals with socks is just not a good fit. How many times can we tell you this? There is just no excuse for this kind of nonsense.
Last up we have the women carrying umbrellas around in the sunlight for shade. If you need an umbrella to keep you out of the shade...STAY HOME! No point in going outside if you are going to melt in the sun. This has got to be the reason behind an umbrella in the sun...these bitches are so fake, their faces will melt if the sun touches them.
So in closing we would like you to PLEASE look twice in the mirror before leaving your house, hell look three, four, maybe even five times into the mirror before going in public. We will be watching you and we will be writing about you!
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