I'm a dog not a damn Barbie doll....

What in the world is going on with people and their dogs?? Do people not realize that they are animals and not exactly the same as humans?? We are sad to admit that we are a couple of the stupid people who treat our dogs like humans but we know it’s wrong and we are getting help. Like we've said in the past, we call ourselves “Mommy” when speaking to our dogs. We have been know to dress our dogs up in clothing, too. We are not a complete lost cause though because we never take our dogs inside public places.

While we see nothing wrong with calling ourselves "Mommy” when we talk to our dogs, we know we sound ridiculous. Let’s face it, it is as stupid and talking to the dog and asking them how their day was and then actually waiting for a reply...yes - we admit, we do this too.   We admit we look as stupid as you when we talk to our pet but thankfully we look hot while we do it.  And hot chicks get a pass on a lot, more on this in a future blog.

When we dress up our dogs, we think, aww, they look so cute. Do you know what they are thinking?? “Wtf mommy?? I’m a dog not a damn Barbie doll, get this dress off of me, now!” The poor things, we make them look ridiculously cute, or in most cases just ridiculous, because we think it’s fun. Well that is probably dog abuse. We are supposed to love and protect our dog not play fashion show with them. If all you want is someone to play fashion show with, Barbie dolls cost like six bucks. This maybe a better way to go.

We seriously wonder what in the hell is going through the pea sized brain of the next group of dog owners. These are the fools who think it’s ok to take their dog inside a public place, besides the pet store. Geez, people, we are eating here. Don’t these morons ever think about the possibility that when we order our fuzzy navel, the fuzz we are talking about does't come from a dog. We certainly don't want dog fur on our cheeseburger.  Get a clue, people.  We just do not get this. This is so stupid and over the line of commonsense that these people can no longer see the line.  Most of them are not hot, either, so this is just absolutely unacceptable.

Although we are part of the crazy dog owner population, we will never tell you it’s ok. It’s stupid, crazy and a bit weird to do any of these things. We need to remember that these are animals and not humans. We are working on a twelve step program that will break us this cycle of stupidity.

Step One: Do not talk to the dog like it is your child. Even though the dog has more respect and is not sassy.
Step Two: Do not put your dog on a time out. Even though we believe when the dog is naughty, it should be grounded just like our teenagers. Dogs need time out benches too!
Step Three: Do not dress your dog in clothes, no matter how cute they are. The dog has fur, it doesn't really need that pink sweater.
Step Four: Do not refer to your dog as your child when you speak to other people.  Unless they are human, they cannot be your child.
Step Five: Do not send out Christmas cards with pictures of only your pets.  Just no, this is always a no!
Step Six: Do not have a birthday party for your dog.  There are starving kids in Africa and your dog has a birthday party?  Gosh, you're a dumbass.

Like we said, we are working on a twelve step program.....here are the first six steps, work on these, you are a moron so it will take forever, once you master these, we can give you more.