Many of our readers know a lot about us. We have shared a great deal of information and we think by now you can tell which one of us is which when we tell you a crazy story. But today we have decided to let you in a little more and write about some of the differences between Lisa and Jen. Once you read this, you will understand why we have to work so hard to maintain our friendship; we did not give up after 72 days! We are going on 10 years and believe us it is hard work!
For starters lets talk vacations. Lisa's ideal vacation involves her children. She doesn't even care where they go; as long as her whole family is together. She loves to take family orientated trips that involve all of her family. Jen on the other hand cannot wait to get away from her family. Now keep in mind, as we have said before Lisa has 3 kids and Jen only has 1. In fact, we met and began our friendship when our kids became friends at school. But we digress...
Lisa loves her family with all her heart, she truly enjoys spending time with them. Jen on the other hand...well she loves her kid, but most days cannot wait to get away from him. Often time Jen wakes up in the middle of the night just to count the minutes until she can leave for work. Hell some days she even goes to work early to hide from her family. Weekends are a bitch...48 hours with her family almost makes her want to go into her office on the weekends and make up work to do. Weekends are when Jen drinks the most vodka.
By now most of you have figured out that Jen works full time out of the home and Lisa works full time in the home. Lisa actually CHOOSES to spend her days at home doing things for her family and being with them every chance she can. Jen is positive that Lisa must drink a ton of vodka to get her through her days. Jen cannot even imagine staying home all day to go on field trips, pack lunches, and be there to nurse a sick child when needed. With that said, Lisa absolutely HATES to clean; but because she loves her family soooo much, she does it. Jen on the other hand LOVES to clean, but not for her family, she does it because she has OCD and cannot sleep if her house is in disarray.
Another big difference is Lisa absolutely LOVES LOVES her husband. She does all kinds of stupid shit for him...his laundry (even folds his underwear), makes his meals, she even - dare we say it - likes to have sex with him! AAAHHHHH Gross! Jen on the other hand mostly got married so that people would shut the hell up and stop asking when she was going to get married. Jen hates to cook and do laundry and there is no way on god's green earth that Jen would ever fold her husbands underwear! Well OK...maybe if he threatened to take away her vodka and Valium she would do it, but other than that no way! And as for the sex part, Jen might be considered in some circles to be somewhat of a hooker. She only sleeps with her husband if he buys her things. We know it is terrible; Jen is not a very good wife. But that is why she has Lisa...to constantly remind her of what a wife SHOULD do. Lisa hopes that one day Jen will learn, but she is not holding out too much hope.
Now do not get us wrong, we do have a great deal in common. We both love to shop, we both have a sick obsession with purses and shoes and obviously as you all know....we are both funny as hell! And most important we both need to have an endorsement deal with Grey Goose Vodka!
No comments:
Post a Comment