You wanna do WHAT with my son?

Who lives in one of those neighborhoods filled with old woman who are in denial. They do not want to own up and act their age, they prefer to act like they are in their twenties...A.K.A = Cougars? These woman are like vultures because they can be. Their looks allow for behavior that would normally not be tolerated. They are snobby and rude, with no manners. They think the world revolves around them and heck...maybe it does. If we were that smoking hot maybe we would hit on your sons!

These woman are our age,  but they behave like a sixteen year old Scarlett, with tons of lip gloss and body spray on. They buy all their clothes in one size smaller than they should...sometimes even two sizes smaller. Ever seen a 10lb cougar stuffed in a 5lb bag...you know you have!

They get all the botox, leaving none for us. If we wanted to be blonde we couldn't, they've used all the dye. What if we wanted to buy spandex leggings...we can't because the cougars bought them all. It is just not fair.

Not only do they flirt with our husbands, they flirt with our sons. After that, they date our sons. 

Letting cougars roam your neighborhood is more stupid than actually being a cougar.  You have become the cougar enabler.  So how do you break this cycle, you ask?  Well it only takes a few easy steps:

1) Make her watch the Star Wars movies, no cougar in her right mind has watched these movies.  All they know about them is that men, young and old, love the gold bikini so they rock it anytime they can. 

2) Take away their lip gloss.  Lip gloss is for young girls and makes these idiots think they too are young. 

3) Take away their body spray.  This too is for young girls.  You need to make them see the old biotch they are when they look in the mirror. 

4) Empty their closets of any clothes bought at the same store our kids shop at.

5) Remove all aerosol cans of hairspray from the home. These are from the 80's...it is time to move on.

6) Take them to Wal-Mart and introduce them to all the other moms in the neighborhood.

7) Last but probably the most important...remove your sons cell phone number from the cougars address book!

We hope these simple steps will lead to a successful cougar intervention.  Through these steps, we have successfully ridded ourselves of the cougars in our neighborhood.