You Are Not Entitled To My Life

You are not entitled to our lives because you went to college and got a real job. You did not get married before you were legal enough to drink and have kids right away. We worked hard for our lives and we are not just going to let you walk in here with your fancy degree and be just like us.

We know how jealous you are, it is written all over your face. When we are out with our children at the mall,(our kids, who by the way look old enough to be our siblings) while your old ass can barely keep up. We much rather prefer to have people mistake us as the older sister instead of knowing we are the parent.

That will teach you to go to college, start your career, and THAN have kids. I mean really, who wants to be 75 years old when their child graduates? Not us that's for sure. We want to still be young enough to go to frat parties with our kids.

We did it all backwards for a reason. We wanted to be difficult, it was our life's goal to be a complete disappointment to our parents. We actually wrote it all out at the age of ten.

1) Get knocked up by loser
2) Marry said loser
3) Never get a real job
4) College...say what?
5) Have the shrink on speed dial

Don't be jealous because the pharmacist knows us by our first name and all of our mental health doctors send us Christmas cards. It is no our fault we have awesome doctors who give us mass amounts of coping pills. And no, we will not share them.

We know you hate the fact that we could have been the drunken whores in high school but we were smart enough to not find God. Hence why we get to be drunk and have more fun than you...we don't ever have to get up early for church.

And last but not least...we know how sad it makes you that we were smart enough to come up with a Blog making fun of everyone else because our lives are so amazing.

It was hard work getting here, but you know what the say...awe crap, totally forgot what they say, but I'm sure they say something that would be relevant to this Blog.

**As you can see this Blog is somewhat fiction based and we make fun of everyone, not just the stupid people. Cuz we ain't stupid:) Oh yeah...and these are not our real lives, only the lives we wish we had.