Retro is hot, retro is cool. But the key to a good retro look is choosing the best looks from the decade. We have found during our daily people watching that some people think that a retro trend is a license to pull out all their old clothes (that they were too much of hoarder to throw out) from 30 years ago. Some looks from the 80's are back but rest assured, not ALL 80's looks are back. We have some favorite "best of the worst" looks. If you own any of these, BURN THEM NOW!
Stonewashed and acid washed jeans are not back. In fact, we are pretty sure that they were awful back then. They are so ridiculous.. Omg, are these people blind?? It looks as if you had some sort of bleach accident while wearing these jeans. Jeans are meant to be a casual and sexy look. Well, there is nothing sexy about your stonewashed or acid washed jean. They are casual however, so casual that perhaps you should save them for wearing at home only while painting.
Members Only jackets = ugly ass shit. What are you thinking? Because we are thinking "dude the 80's called, they want their jacket back". We have wondered for 25 years what exactly you people are a member of and so grateful that we are not members of that group. We assure you that the phrase, “Membership has it privileges” was not talking about a Members Only jacket. You are not a hip, exclusive member, you are an idiot in an ugly jacket.
Stirrup pants were once all the rage. Well now they are just one of the many things that make us laugh when we see them. We have never had a problem keeping our pants leg down so we just don’t get them. Is this a problem for the women who wear them?? Do they wake up and think, “Oh shit, my pants legs just keep popping up, I better wear my stirrups.” It can’t be because they actually think these pants make them look good. Wait, maybe they do think it looks good. Yikes, they need our help badly.
Wow, parachute pants wearers are not hot. This look may best sum up the ridiculousness that was 80's fashion. Every time we see them we are prepared for the wearer to break into dance. This just stirs up our fear that a flash mob is coming, a break dance flash mob. Combining the hellacious horror of a impending flash mob with the original break dance clothing is enough to ruin perfectly good day.
We wonder where these people store all these clothes. We need all our closet space for the new purses we buy so we just cannot imagine saving 25 year old clothes - especially ugly clothes. As we said, if you own these clothes, you really need to burn them. But more importantly, if you have a loved one who owns any of these clothes, please, we beg you have an intervention. An “Oh shit, they are stuck in the 80's” intervention. It’s really the least you can do. Friends don’t let friends wear parachute pants!
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