Same Side of the Booth...Really?

Some couples are so irritating. Take for instance the lovey dovey couple who goes to dinner and sits together on the same side of the booth.

Two theories on this: one - he is getting a hand job under the table or two - these two are full of s*#t! Now we can say this because we have both been married for 17 years - So we both know, there is no way a normal couple is sitting together in a booth...just not happening. It looks ridiculous people!

Couples who share the same Facebook page...what's with that? Do they not trust each other or are they just that ignorant and think its sweet. It is not sweet you morons, it is totally foolish. You need to have some privacy in any relationship. Plus just imagine when the ex girlfriend sends a friend request...oooohhh drama!!

Next up is that couple who goes out with matching outfits. Don't lie - you laugh at them too. There is just no reason to match your significant other..NONE! Again we say this carefully because Jen has been the victim of such behavior. Her husband once bought matching Packers hoodies to wear to a Packer game. NO WAY dude, not happening. Not that stupid.

What about the couple whose names start with the same letter; so their kids names have to start with the same letter...LAME! Come on people, be original here. It is your child - that name lasts forever and trust me...that kid will get made fun of. Also, we beg you - do not make up a name. It is hard enough being a kid in this generation without the added stress of a name that makes no damn sense and they cannot spell until they are 15 years old.

How about the couples with stupid nicknames for each other - pookie bear, sugar cakes, etc. We all know this couple and they make us want to barf! No grown ass person should be called pookie bear. Its just plain wrong and makes you look even more stupid than your matching jogging suits do.

Than we have the couple who holds hands while watching TV. NO NO NO...We are willing to bet the only action these two are getting is holding hands during Grey's Anatomy.

Last but not least we have the couple who refers to themselves as mommy and daddy to their pets. We know for a fact we both laugh hard these fools...but truth be told, we do it too. We are part of this pack of fools who treat our pets like our kids. In fact Jen has often told her son she would give him up before she would get rid of her babies (2 pit bulls, who are cuter than any baby).

So people we ask you, please be real. Do not give each other nicknames, do not wear matching clothes, sit on the opposite side of the table and PLEASE give your child a real name. As for the pet part, well we are willing to let that slide...for now.