Are you a semiliterate?

We here at Simple Stupidity are here to give back to the community, if we have helped even one idiot become less stupid then it has been a successful day for us. While the leaders of our country have long fought a hard campaign to help fight illiteracy in the United States, we feel that one very large group of morons have been overlooked for years. These idiots are the semiliterate. A semiliterate makes mistakes in speaking and writing that are obvious to the literate. So we beg you, the few literate readers we have, to do your part in solving this nationwide epidemic. Befriend a semiliterate and help them become literate. As literate people ourselves, we will point out the saddest and most annoying things that the semiliterate say or write.

Let’s begin with an oldie but a goodie. The use of the words their, there and they’re. People, these sound the same but they simply are not the same word. Their is a pronoun which tells what belongs to them. Used in a sentence, “Their brain must be small because they are absolute morons.” Now we have the word there, this is an adverb that means in, at, or to that place. Used in a sentence, “The idiot went there to learn coping skills because they are just plain stupid.” The last word we have is they’re, this is a contraction of the word they and are. This word should be used a lot more often than it is. Used in a sentence, “They’re so stupid, I cannot speak to them for one more second.”

Another favorite of ours is the use of the words your and you’re. Once again, these sound the same, but are absolutely not the same word and cannot be used interchangeably. Your is a pronoun or a adjective and it’s the possessive form of you. Used in a sentence, “Your mind is easily confused because you are just not that bright.” Now we have the word you’re. This word is a contraction that literally means you are. Used in a sentence, “You’re welcome is probably the most commonly miswritten phrase because there are so many moronic people surrounding us.”

Here is another set of words that sound the same but are not. The words to, two and too are not the same word either. Shocker we know, we are sure a lot of you really thought they were. To is a preposition that generally means in the direction of. Used in a sentence, “The idiot went to school and learned proper grammar.” The word two is noun or adjective which means one plus one. This is the number folks. Used in sentence, “Two dummies are worse than one.” The word too is an adverb that means also. Now we know that a lot of you know this word and abbreviate it to to but it’s only three letters and it does not need to be abbreviated unless your main goal is to look stupid. Used in a sentence, “She is annoying, too.”

Now for words that are just not words. You may see the word anyways written a lot but the word is anyway. There is no s at the end, ever. Ain’t is not a word either. Think about it people, generally speaking, an apostrophe indicates the combining of two words, what words exactly are you combining to form ain’t. This one is especially painful to our brains. Lord help the people who write or say supposebly. The word is supposedly. Those who use this word incorrectly sound extra stupid. The last word in this category, for now, is irregardless. The word you mean is regardless. Irregardless sounds so ignorant when spoken.

We gave you the words that aren’t words but how about the words that are words but are used in correctly a lot. Well, let’s start with the words a lot. This is commonly used as one word, alot, but it is always two words. Another one that is two words is never mind. Nevermind is not a word. The last one we have for you today is not spelled incorrectly but used incorrectly often. That word is neither. More often than not, neither is paired with nor. This is not a hard and fast rule but it can get complicated and let’s face it you are simply too dumb to understand advanced grammar. So for our basic idiots, only use neither with nor. This way you won’t constantly sound like the idiot you clearly are.

We hope you were taking notes and learned a lot today. It can be difficult walking around as a semiliterate and we want you to avoid this at all costs. Now to our few literate readers, please adopt a semiliterate and help them. They need you. We need you. We can only take so much more of this nonsense. It is exhausting reading things and listening to things that just make no sense.