What's this hubbub all about??

It has been so long since we blogged that we are guessing that you assumed that we have forgotten all about you but alas, we have not. We are just going to jump right in where we left off. We are going to take you on a journey through our brilliant minds and discuss some of the very important topics in our society. Damn, aren't you lucky?? Today's topic: Tim Tebow.

OK, we know, we know....we are so far behind on the Tebow train but we were busy. You know, with one of us attempting to have a nervous breakdown and the other trying to not slap the shit out of the other because of her constant drama, it left little time for blogging. Anyway, back to Tebow, all we can say is WTF??? We simply don't get the hubbub. OK, we get that Jesus Christ is his “Lord and Savior” but Jesus is that for so many people so why is this mediocre football player so special?  Is it because he kneels down?? Because, hey, we kneel down at least once a week and our husbands love it. In fact, sometimes they even yell, “Oh Jesus” while we are kneeling. So it can't be the kneeling. Is it the virginity?? We won't even go into that one, because these women think he is hot and sexy. Sexy because he doesn't have sex?  That is illogical because most of the word “sexy” is the word “sex”, they kind of go hand and hand. Don't get us wrong we believe he is probably a good guy, a nice guy but God has been in business for so long that He probably doesn't need a salesman who does such a hard sell. We believe in God and His work kind of speaks for itself. The scariest thing to us is that if a Muslim acted as extreme, we would all run for our lives. Tim Tebow is a Christian Extremist.

So as we sit here and type this we really still wonder what this obsession is all about. We will

 hear he is a good role model but we don't buy that shit at all. The reality is, none of us know Tim Tebow, we know what the media portrays him to be. Look closer to home for your role models, they are all around. So kids, hang up your Tebow jerseys and put on a Coach Wilson jersey, or a Math Teacher Simon hat or better yet a “My Dad (or mom) has been my role model since before I was born” T-shirt. Yes, Tebow maybe a nice guy but at the end of the day, he is just a guy.

Facebook saved my life

Thought of the day: Can Facebook replace the actual need for live interaction? (We know what you are thinking...whow Lisa and Jen, that is deep; are you guys ok? Do not worry we are going somewhere with this)

We say; YES. Actually we PRAY the answer is yes. Think about it; with Facebook you know who is dating, who broke up, who got engaged, who got a new job...everything we need to know is on your Facebook page; therefore, eliminating the need to speak to or see people in person. It is too perfect!

Imagine a world where you do not have to talk to anyone in your family. You would not have to listen to your sister whine on the phone for an hour about her breakup because all the details are on her Facebook page. All those cousins who irritate you...yep, all caught up on their lives, no need to pick up a phone. What about all those "friends" who you really cannot stand, but you are nosey so you keep up with their lives on Facebook instead. It would be like a dream come true.

Think about it seriously for a moment; what would you do with all that extra time? Well we know what we would do; we would take longer naps, we would never get migraines because we would not have to deal with all this stupidity, we would save on travel because we would never have to visit relatives that we really do not care about, and we would have more time to spend on important things like shopping and drinking because we would never have to be on the phone listening to boring people talk about their boring lives.

You can send all your Birthday and Holiday wishes through Facebook; eliminating buying cards, signing them, and paying for postage. You can see the pictures of their new babies and remove the need to actually hold the stinky little things. You can see the pictures of the wedding and all the lame outfits, but not have to actually attend the event or buy a present. There are just so many things we can remove from our lives by having Facebook. We just want to say thank you Mark Zuckerberg, thank you for saving us from the living hell of actually having to communicate with the outside world.

One of these friends is not like the other!

Many of our readers know a lot about us. We have shared a great deal of information and we think by now you can tell which one of us is which when we tell you a crazy story. But today we have decided to let you in a little more and write about some of the differences between Lisa and Jen. Once you read this, you will understand why we have to work so hard to maintain our friendship; we did not give up after 72 days! We are going on 10 years and believe us it is hard work!

For starters lets talk vacations. Lisa's ideal vacation involves her children. She doesn't even care where they go; as long as her whole family is together. She loves to take family orientated trips that involve all of her family. Jen on the other hand cannot wait to get away from her family. Now keep in mind, as we have said before Lisa has 3 kids and Jen only has 1. In fact, we met and began our friendship when our kids became friends at school. But we digress...

Lisa loves her family with all her heart, she truly enjoys spending time with them. Jen on the other hand...well she loves her kid, but most days cannot wait to get away from him. Often time Jen wakes up in the middle of the night just to count the minutes until she can leave for work. Hell some days she even goes to work early to hide from her family. Weekends are a bitch...48 hours with her family almost makes her want to go into her office on the weekends and make up work to do. Weekends are when Jen drinks the most vodka.

By now most of you have figured out that Jen works full time out of the home and Lisa works full time in the home. Lisa actually CHOOSES to spend her days at home doing things for her family and being with them every chance she can. Jen is positive that Lisa must drink a ton of vodka to get her through her days. Jen cannot even imagine staying home all day to go on field trips, pack lunches, and be there to nurse a sick child when needed. With that said, Lisa absolutely HATES to clean; but because she loves her family soooo much, she does it. Jen on the other hand LOVES to clean, but not for her family, she does it because she has OCD and cannot sleep if her house is in disarray.

Another big difference is Lisa absolutely LOVES LOVES her husband. She does all kinds of stupid shit for him...his laundry (even folds his underwear), makes his meals, she even - dare we say it - likes to have sex with him!  AAAHHHHH Gross! Jen on the other hand mostly got married so that people would shut the hell up and stop asking when she was going to get married. Jen hates to cook and do laundry and there is no way on god's green earth that Jen would ever fold her husbands underwear! Well OK...maybe if he threatened to take away her vodka and Valium she would do it, but other than that no way! And as for the sex part, Jen might be considered in some circles to be somewhat of a hooker. She only sleeps with her husband if he buys her things. We know it is terrible; Jen is not a very good wife. But that is why she has Lisa...to constantly remind her of what a wife SHOULD do. Lisa hopes that one day Jen will learn, but she is not holding out too much hope.

Now do not get us wrong, we do have a great deal in common. We both love to shop, we both have a sick obsession with purses and shoes and obviously as you all know....we are both funny as hell! And most important we both need to have an endorsement deal with Grey Goose Vodka!